Smoke, Fog, and Haze
Seeing ahead of you allows you to make decisions that align with who you are.
When I’m not able to see ahead or dive into the “unknown” with grace, anxiety and worry sets in. I’m sure you know what that’s like.
Anxiety is part of life, though. However, learning to manage in a healthy way was something I’ve only recently learned. I’ve learned how to cognitively view it as a sign — of fear, of worry, of distress, and of depression.
And now that I think about it, when I was younger, the anxiety of not being able to see through the fog was crippling. I had silent panic attacks, sleepless nights, and worried often. I didn’t speak of it much (possibly due to shame, embarrassment, and fear of being judged) but because of that, my mental health really took a blow through my 20s.
Being brought up in a household that never talked about emotions or how to process them, I struggled with being able to feel and letting those feelings guide me towards what I wanted and needed most — which was probably being able to speak up (in general), accurately portraying the self-love I deserved and needed, have constructively communicative relationships, and so on.
I chased having clarity as I was growing into my 20s. Yet, I never quite reached it. I guess there’s a timing to everything. And a lot of this timing came with allowing new relationships to blossom in my life to show me what I needed to heal within myself.
The clarity comes and goes. And once I reach it, I feel alive, blessed, and on the “right track”, I guess. But when it was gone, I definitely struggled. What was this connection to clarity and how could I reach it ALL the time, hold on to it, and have it appear often in my life?
That answer came with the concept of trust. Trust in the universe, trust in the Source, trust in the Creator, trust in my life path, and more importantly, faith in myself. Allowing myself to release the crippling grip of not knowing and to just be.
What is being to you? What does it feel like? What does it taste like? What does it look like? How do you reach clarity?
